I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
