I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
