I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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