he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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