Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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