he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
This baby is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize