I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
