I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
