Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
