I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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