Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
