I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
