all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
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You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
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It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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