Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize