yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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