I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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