Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you had me at cake vodka
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
A bitchslap is in order.
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