Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
