so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
