so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
