More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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