3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
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I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
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I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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