just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I will be naked everywhere
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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