I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
