Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
