Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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