Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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