Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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