Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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