By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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