Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
