I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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