So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
