Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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