She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
