We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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