Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
