how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Im part way to drunk.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
