I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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