Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
