Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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