In the future we'll all be gay
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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