ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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