What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
