At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
