She's JV to your varsity
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
