I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
