okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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