so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize