i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
that is very illegal...i love you.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
