Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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