It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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