On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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