I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
