So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
