Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
