the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
