There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
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