Michael Bay diarrhea
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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