found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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