i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
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I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
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Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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