Im at strip club and am horny
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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