How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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