It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
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He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
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Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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