yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
this hospital has no fireball
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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