hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize