Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
