I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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