Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize