at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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